Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Recycled comment posts: lazy and/or narcissistic?

So is turning around + reusing a comment I originally posted on another's blog on my own considered cheating and/or straight up narcissism (so in love with my own thoughts)? I mean I am all for being green and recycling...

I had a kind new reader comment on my post from yesterday and when I checked out her blog in return, I posted the following:

Thanks for dropping in + commenting on my blog. Checking yours out... Never fails to boggle my mind what kind of CRAP we IFers go thru. 4th IVF. So sorry. And kudos to you for your fortitude.

All of our bodies and situations are SO different (and within ourselves from cycle to cycle). If I actually got pg. on mine and told you what worked for me, it so doesn't mean it would for you.

The really screwed up thing is, there's something you did or didn't do in IVF 1-3 that might or might not work for #4. It starts to become a "witch doctor" practice.

Here's my input:

Project yourself into the future asking yourself if you did everything you possibly could have to have achieve a pregnancy. Whatever actions will give you a "YES," follow that path. My motto: follow the path of least regrets.

You have all the answers you need: Listen to your gut.

If you're even questioning artificial sweeteners--CUT THEM OUT. I say, whatever crosses your mind as an "iffy" something over which you CAN exert CONTROL, grab the control and run.

Beyond that VISUALIZE healthy, dividing embryos happily nestling into the plushy lining of your ready womb. Have music playing in a surround sound for them. Hmmm. Making this part up. Maybe we can assign ourselves a playlist to welcome them to their new home for the next 9 months...

So, in summary: DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN and let go of everything you can't. Keep the faith!

I'm going to practice what I preach and work on my defrosted embryos decked out pad. They're going to have the coolest decor w/ a Bose surround sound system. NO TV yet. We don't want embryos w/ ADD.


My aforementioned mother's (she's my step-mom who did the hard lifting raising me, so I hate using that term b/c of the negative connotations. She'll be our baby's grandmother. Our baby's only grandmother, actually) "hope coaching" is sinking in. I let her know I posted another prompted by the "hope seeds" she has been gently planting:

When I wrote the following line on my womb decor post, "My goal: open my heart to HOPE. This is kinda the opposite of 'having a consolation prize' lined up (Jetson got adopted, BTW--may be a sign)," It really helped illuminate for me how much I walled myself off and expected the shoe to fall so I wouldn't be as crushed if the IVF didn't work that first time.

But having that kind of thinking really cuts me off from being totally committed to having it work. To HOPE it works. To not let my fears about it working successfully get in the way of it working.*

And being totally committed involves allowing oneself to truly HOPE for ultimate success.

*"In the end, it is a story about marriage, and — more important — about the necessary optimism that is required of thoughtful, observant people who decide (despite what they know) to have children."

—John Irving, author's notes about "Interior Space" (1980) in Trying to Save Piggy Sneed.


  1. I love this. I think what you wrote is spot on. I am trying to open myself up to HOPE as well. It's so hard. But I have this feeling that by not having hope, I'm never going to have a positive outcome. Like you said - setting myself up for failure.

  2. P.S. Jetson is SO CUTE. I'm sorry that he won't be yours, but I certainly think it's a good sign!