Saturday, December 13, 2008

I'm the Blueberry girl in Willy Wonka


Ok.
Turns out shooting up that = this.

Remember how when the chunky girl pops the gobstopper and goes through all the permutations of the whole meal she ate in a single piece of candy? (I do wish there really was such a thing.)

Here's my gonal-F injection rendition:

Shooting up (w/ Dan doing plunging b/c it's too hard for me to press in myself). Plop back deep against the couch cushions as I wait for the waves to overtake:

Feel 20 lbs. heavier. Like gravity increased its pull on my entire body.

Wait. Wait. I'm starving. No, I'm full. Now I'm dizzy. Now my left eye is blurry. Now my right ovary is twinging like I'm mid-cycle. Ah, here come the constipated tears. Now I'm hot. No wait, where's my jacket? Hey Dan, Um. Yeah? I forgot. I had a thought. Wait. Naw. I was wrong there's nothing in there. Just roll me out - I'm hot, dizzy, full/hungry, bloated, and staring straight ahead spacing like a drugged out stoner with pinwheel eyes.

Gotta lay down now.

Have I mentioned I quit coffee and am weaned off Zoloft?

Gotta lay down now.

Have I mentioned Waaaaahhhh? Ok. I'll stop whining. For now.

Gotta lay down now.

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