Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Mental Metamucil: crazy quilted post, pieced together from swatches of emails sent today

Damn it. I'm stuck and missing the Z today. So here's my solution... taking a dose of mental Metamucil:

I shall exploit my emails sent today to various friends and business relations from different parts of my life... many of whom have never crossed paths. All names have been changed.


crazy quilt
n.
  1. A patchwork quilt of pieces of cloth of various shapes, colors, and sizes, sewn together in an irregular pattern.
  2. A disorderly mixture; a hodgepodge: The map was a crazy quilt of districts and precincts.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition


My crazy handiwork, as follows:

Dusky Plum Chevron swatch:

Dear Mr. Attorney,

Unfortunately I do not have a lot of progress to report since our last correspondence.

My understanding is that we have one last hoop to overcome with the city, then we will proceed in securing the contractor to do the approved work. We have been working on getting quotes from contractors to execute the repair.

I appreciate your attentiveness to our case. I will not neglect keeping you abreast of more concrete information as I know it.

Sincerely,

Kicking-the-can

Autumn Palette Checks Swatch:

Awww. God, that seems like forever ago. And my hair is not NEARLY long enough for having been "growing it out" since shortly after that pic was taken. I'm still trying to make peace with the fact that I'll never love my hair. Or maybe it's my head shape. Maybe my face shape. Or maybe it's all of the above. I'm seriously thinking about getting that Japanese straightening done here b/c it's looking like a poofy mid-western librarian's do lately. Yuk.

Maroon Corduroy Swatch:

Hi, X/Y:

X, as you're the leaseholder, I'd appreciate it if you just synthesize the gist from Y.

Just so you know where we're coming from, we've been hit by some serious plumbing expenditures in the past months so we're paying extra in interest on our debt by carrying yours.

We haven't lost faith that you're good for the money, but we're looking for as accurate an ETA on the past due rent as possible so we can better strategize our financial game plan.

Best,

Sap-for-a-landlord-backed-against-the-wall-renting-to-tenant-with-normally-great-credit-during-recession

Deep Kelly Green Velvet Swatch:

At the risk of sounding like X...

The manufacturers who knowingly participated in using melamine in their products DESERVE TO ROT IN HELL.

Thanks for sharing. Talk/see you tomorrow!

Ocean Blue Swatch:

Also, just had a nice Skype w/ your D and T. Told them about the IVF and they were very sweet about it. T is interested in reading my blog and your D reiterated he'd be totally happy if it works and totally happy if it doesn't. He loves us no matter what, etc... You know, he feels exactly how we already knew he feels about the whole thing.

Fire Engine Red Swatch:

Just remember, now more than ever, a woman has Y by the balls. When I last spoke w/ him he needed to sweep some aspects of his life and his friends' lives under the rug to gain the approval of a woman who (I predict) will ultimately make his X seem like a free-loving acid freak at Burning Man.

But maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe they've had an open heart-to-heart. I'd be sincerely happy if they are capable of having that level of honesty.

Steel Grey Embroidered Swatch:

FUCK - this has gone up! $166.66. I guess in the summer the expense is elec. and in the winter, it's gas. But I DO think this reflects higher gas prices vs. last year.

Mauve with Purse Applique Swatch:

I've been riding myself the last few days about having a resume I posted get torn to shreds by some professional who reviews resumes all day (cuz I wasted $ joining theladders.com when I panicked when Dan sent me this: http://www.latimes.com/news/local/los_angeles_metro/la-fi-rent8-2009jan08,0,6423879.story
). X, the fucking thing has had me down since we got back. I have still not reconciled that I'm not, nor will I ever be, the kind of person who finds employment by having a random HR person look at my resume and have a light bulb go *bling* over their head. I am, and always have been, a not-always-practicing-artist-who-is-not-at-peace-with-the-impracticality-of-that-route. Thank you astrological sign, Capricorn.

Violet Velvet Swatch:

LOL. (How can we get that sentiment out there any better? Hate succumbing, but there it is, I used it... LOL!)

Accent: spot on. The chains were too funny. And, OMG, cute boots! Now I shall check out your archives, you YouTube Minx.

My blog is mainly about my EMPTY WOMB. I guess I've earned that lovely story to tell as I'm about to hit 41 and Dan's sperm and my eggs have had a most cantankerous relationship over the last 7 yrs. I'm going to try to write about other crap tho, b/c Dan has told me it's hard for him to read my stuff. ;( (Though he's very supportive of my writing about whatever the hell I want and he enjoys my writing itself--the subject matter is what he finds depressing.) Thanks for asking about it. And no, I'm not sharing it w/ the facebook world. Just select people. I don't want all my long lost Jr. High school buddies reading about my twat.

XOXO,

Fellow crude gal

Indigo Blue Gingham Swatch:

Found your next job:
Islandreefjob.com

Smoky Purple with Embroidered Posies Swatch:

Ok. I have to have an X vent--like the good ol' days (oh, kindly hold my hand with this):

So after our newly minted stabs at resurrecting our friendship in mid-'08 (following about 3 yrs. of NO communication after her wedding, I made the first move: exchanged emails, I was supportive while they were losing Y's lovely best friend, X checking in w/ my life in Taipei...) and her cajoling me to finally join FB, so I do... and she has NOT CONTACTED me once via FB the whole time I've been on here. She has, though, seemingly piggybacked my moves and connected w/ a bunch of friends I'VE connected with.

To illustrate, we have 28 shared friends... but zero communication via this stupid futuristic social network!? I even casually mentioned our not utilizing FB in a regular email and her brief response was as obtuse as ever: "What do you mean not using FB w/ each other?" (I never know if it's X playing some kind of game or if she's just being dense.)

Now, I must tell you that I DID inform her about our IVF (failed, BTW) attempt here and the blog I write. In the blog, on my VERY LONG back story, I make several references to her (referring to the very sisterly nature of our relationship--dysfunction and all--but told w/ an "endearing" tone).

The anecdote that could be construed as offensive would be (along these lines): my friend who offhandedly told me to "just relax" got her Karmic smack down when she ended up going through infertility treatments herself. I added something in there about though I would never wish this on anyone (and I wouldn't).

Now in my estimation, a self-possessed, mature person would acknowledge that what I wrote was fair--as it was all too true. She was dismissive and flippant about the turmoil we were going through w/ unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant. One (not just ME) would think that a woman who faced the same trauma herself would own up and maybe, MAYBE, even apologize about her insensitive behavior.

Not only did THAT NOT HAPPEN, but after I divulged to her what we were up to, she spent days not replying. Then when she finally DID, it was on a loose acquaintance level of "good luck with that. We wish you the best." Her lack of support to me NOW is almost just as bad. She's betraying the unwritten rule that all women who've been in the infertility trenches are sisters-in-arms. Bitch better not go around pretending she got knocked up all miraculously without medical intervention. Arghh. I digress.

If I were writing this to XX, I think this is how she'd respond:

Jesus Christ, K. LET IT GO. You and X have obviously gone separate ways and if 3 years of humming along just fine without being in each other's lives doesn't prove that to you, I don't know what will. Besides, why do you even WANT to rebuild a friendship with someone who has consistently been insensitive to you while insisting YOU be nothing but sensitive to HER.

Oy. As always, thanks for "listening."

Burnt Orange Suede Swatch:

Bonus blanket stitching (bit much w/ my little metaphor?): check out Laurie Kienlen's blog post from today (1/13/09)...
My first "interview" as an out and proud IFer:

http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipsandtipsinfertility/292#more-292

Thanks for including me, Laurie!*


*(Not the same Laurie as mentioned in previous posts.)

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